Sabs' Crap-Comedy

The Feminist Watching Over My Shoulder

I've been told I have absolutely no self control when it comes to having a verbal filter. After many years of investigating the root of this problem, I have finally come to a conclusion: There is someone possessing me whenever I speak. Honestly, on the days I'm vividly aware of the sounds coming out of… Continue reading The Feminist Watching Over My Shoulder

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

21st Century Hipster Loving

  Dating is hard. I've confirmed this after every single date I have ever had, with my friend Elisa over numerous glasses of wine. The conversations we've had about this are great: "Sabs, I just don't understand what's wrong with men!" Elisa slurs.  "Don't worry, baby, I don't think they understand themselves," I slur back,… Continue reading 21st Century Hipster Loving

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

The Three Guy Theory: All I Wanted to Know About Tinder.

Shiver me Tinder? What the fuck is Tinder? I know I must sound like a retrograde twenty-something-year-old, the truest form of the hipster, but I swear to the power of contouring (the new new messiah) that I have no idea what it's for. Swipe right, swipe left, left, left, oh God no, definitely left: Wasn't… Continue reading The Three Guy Theory: All I Wanted to Know About Tinder.

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

Please, Oh Please, Make Me a Lesbian

Let's play a game... It's called Trap the Man. Ready? Set... Go! This is what it feels like to date in 2016 (or if you're an Instagram douche: 2k16, for your enjoyment only).  Look, even if most girls don't accept it, we cannot deny that we use games and tactics in order to "get" the guy (or,… Continue reading Please, Oh Please, Make Me a Lesbian

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

The Beginning is Here

I picture my dad, in the late seventies, completely amazed by Star Wars, about to transition into young adulthood, fantasizing about Carrie Fisher, admiring the rebellious style Harrison Ford portrayed so perfectly, as he, my dad, also started transitioning out of a premature adolescence. There's no doubt that the SciFi community has existed long before… Continue reading The Beginning is Here

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

Basic-Bitching

Early this morning, while waiting for the shower water to heat up in ways my sex-life hasn't (pros and cons of breaking up, right?), I innocently checked Instagram to see what people were having for breakfast (it's one of those cultural movements, if you can even call it that, that I have yet to understand).… Continue reading Basic-Bitching

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

Relationship Chain-Smoking

So, at some point I wrote about my dilemma about knowing when to call it quits in a relationship. I'm not going to lie, I sometimes tend to think that our generation regurgitates arguments to sustain its seemingly reasonable commitment issues. Nevertheless, either I'm a constant quitter that shivers when the word forever is mentioned, like… Continue reading Relationship Chain-Smoking

Sabs' Crap-Comedy

You Are a Registered Imbecile

My brother and I were having a heated debate about certain videos that appear on my Facebook timeline and one of them caught our attention: So, I said to him, "Bro, why would you use an actual drug? Like, why not use a skittle instead of ruining a perfectly good drink? Now the people next… Continue reading You Are a Registered Imbecile