By Katarina Perez 1 As I do the dishes I think about my twice ex-girlfriend who continues to be polyamorous, very happily, as she appears to be, through my secret social media stalking. She has beautiful, long, frizzy-messy hair. How could I ever break up with her? How could I do it twice?… Continue reading The Toxicity of Self
Author: sgam95
Non-Anonymous Blogger (The name is Gam, Sabs Gam). Let's get real freaky with the humor, no? I always take it one step too far. If it gets weird, just let it happen, Bro...
Next-Door & Next-Life
I stopped writing in this blog for one main reason: It was scaring men away. Surprised? Probably not. You're probably saying to yourself, "Well, what did she expect?" I don't know, maybe a partner who could appreciate my sense of humor and internet persona. I know, I ask for too much. I ask for too… Continue reading Next-Door & Next-Life
Pissed at Dick
Good morning! Or, more like, disappointing morning... Last night I dreamt of the perfect man, and, to my dismay, I did not wake up in silk sheets being adored by an Adonis. So yeah, waking up in my brother's old room to a dog that likes to sit on my head: disappointing. I've been dreaming… Continue reading Pissed at Dick
What to Write…
UGH GOOOOOOOD I HAVE NOTHING GOOD TO WRITE ABOUT!!!! Untrue. I have lots of things to write about, but they're my tricks that aren't for kids. Here's the thing, in the current U.S. socio-political climate, I don't even feel comfortable writing an R&B song, because cultural appropriation and all that shit; I don't even feel… Continue reading What to Write…
Dramaless Doldrums
I am bored. Well, let me clarify: There is no drama in my life. And you'd think that'd be a good thing, but really it's more of an inconvenience than anything else. Drama is fun. No, shut up, don't argue, I'm right. I'm always right. I know you think you disagree but trust me, you… Continue reading Dramaless Doldrums
Bobbing for Apples
Halloween sucks. By the way I know this post is tons late, but life got in the way. Anyways, Halloween sucks ass, no offense to anyone's treasured behind. I know there's a lot of people that love it, but I think they're just psychopaths in the making. I don't know about you guys, but I'm… Continue reading Bobbing for Apples
Baby Fat
Hey there, blog, how's it feel to be completely forgotten about lately? What's it been? Like four months? In the process of me entering "womanhood" (because "adulthood" just sounds boring at this point; I'm a woman and I NEED the world to hear my roar), I've gotten many a shit together. Not joking, I can… Continue reading Baby Fat
I Do Squats for My (Insert Suggestive Moan) Couch
I took a quiz this morning, "Is Your Life a RomCom?" (psht, don't start with me, I actually don't have better things to do). Needless to say, my life is anything but. If my life were a movie it would be a mediocre comedy that doesn't really have a plot. Anyways, while taking said quiz,… Continue reading I Do Squats for My (Insert Suggestive Moan) Couch
Halloween Came Early for my Sex Life
Subtitle: But I didn't. I scare sex away. No, not kidding. I literally look it in the eye and scream, "Boo!" If I do it enough times, it shies away meekly. Maybe, I don't scare it away; maybe, just maybe, I annoy it away. See, I have a terrible track record with men. I'm not… Continue reading Halloween Came Early for my Sex Life
Fucking Awkward But Without the Actual Fucking
I should not be given a cellphone when I'm drunk. Wait. No. Scratch that. I should not be allowed to communicate with other people. Ever. I don't hate other people, I just kind of hate other people. And, this actually has little to do with who the other people actually are. Sure, millennials aren't the… Continue reading Fucking Awkward But Without the Actual Fucking
